Hi, I’m Jackie, and if you’re here, there’s a good chance you’re also parenting at least one brain neurodivergent child.

How do you react when you experience something for the first time? Do you simply sit back and enjoy the new experience? Do you figure out what you’ve learned in the past that could apply to the new experience? Or do you spiral and ruminate like your life depended on it?

Turns out, parenthood is the ultimate pop quiz on that exact question.

When we become parents, we walk in with an idea of what parenting looks like — whatever we grew up with, or whatever we assumed it’d be. Then your kids grow up (obviously little Johnny and Suzy are my angels!!), and you realize their brains just work differently than what’s considered “normal.” Cue the surprise: you have to learn how to parent in a way you never saw coming.

I’ll tell you, nothing prepared me for parenting not one, but two neurodivergent kids, who may I add, have two VERY different profiles and personalities. One is my quintessential ADHD boy. His motor runs like a brand new ferrari and he interrupts like a game show buzzer with a hair trigger. His personality gives more anxious Mayor on the campaign trail; friendly, a little bit nervous, and a lot of fun. Now let’s talk about the girl. ADHD? You betcha. Different from her brother? Obviously (she is unique, after all). Her personality gives more screw with me and I’ll cut you than a Chihuahua who thinks she’s a pit bull. I mean, one of her favorite songs of the moment is “I Don’t F*ck WIth You” by Big Sean. That’s not to say she isn’t friendly. My girl is one of the friendliest and sweetest, but she also can be misunderstood. One thing is for certain however, each of my kids is intelligent, adorable, loyal and kind (see above referenced comment on little Johnny and Suzy).

OH but wait– there’s more! I’m also married to a man who ALSO has ADHD, but he has had his entire life to hone in on what his strengths are. Is he forgetful? One could answer this by asking if the world is round and there’s your answer. But you will never meet a more loyal or understanding guy. AND he makes a mean regionally famous Mai Tai. Did I mention he puts up with my crazy?

“Parenting is 50% feeling like your heart might burst from love, and 50% wanting to hide in the pantry with a bag of chocolate.”

And because the universe clearly has a sense of humor, the ADHD doesn’t stop with the humans in this house. For the record, it’s also safe to say that my 6-year-old bernerdoodle also has ADHD, anxiety and is all sorts of neuro-spicy.

So there’s the cast of characters—dun dun (yes, that’s the Law & Order sound effect, and yes, this family has main character energy). These are their stories. Well, mine too, since I’m the one who had to figure out how to parent all of them. What’s worked for us didn’t come from a parenting book— it came from trial, error, and a whole lot of coffee…and the occasional margarita.

I’ll also say this upfront: I’m aware that not every door that’s opened for us is open for everyone. I’ve had the time, the flexibility, and the resources to try things, pull them back when they didn’t work, and try again. That’s not lost on me. So as I share what’s worked for our family, take it as one mom’s toolbox, not a universal fix. Some of it will translate. Some of it won’t. That’s okay.

This is just the beginning. So stick around—more stories, more lessons, more real life, one post at a time.